We all have our definitions of happiness. Some see it as not crying all the time, having the energy to get out of bed each morning, being a star athlete, having the best relationships, or whatever comes to mind as you read this.

So, what is happiness? Is it constant? Is it tangible? Is it real?

Happiness is something that shouldn't be rigidly defined, if you ask me. Think of something that made you happy as a kid; would that still make you happy today? Low gas prices didn't mean much to eight-year-old me, and a bug catcher wouldn't get my blood pumping today. I'm not saying happiness depends on material things, but we do live in a material world. Many people connect happiness with possessions, which makes it seem never fully attainable. We always want the next version of the iPhone, the next line of Gucci shoes, or a better-established partner.

So, no, to me, happiness is not tangible or constant, but it is real. For a time in my life, I thought it wasn't. I believed it was something people faked, hoping that one day they would eventually feel it. If that's how you view happiness, I hope this article changes that perspective for you.

For me, happiness is about knowing what you want and doing it, sprinkled with gratitude. It won't last unless you add gratitude to the mix.

I want to write down my thoughts for strangers on the internet. Check. I appreciate the laptop I write on, the web I publish on, and the fingers I type with. Happy.

I want a dog. Check. I appreciate the healthy poops I get to bag up each day, the ecstatic greetings each time I come home, and the adventures we go on together. Happy.

I want Chick-Fil-A. Damn, it's Sunday. I appreciate saving money, the gas I'm not spending, and the fact that I'm not at work. Happy.

It doesn't matter what you want. Just do it, get it, say it, be it, and appreciate it. But Tristen, how am I supposed to be happy when I can't do what I want?

Step One: Define your want. Not, "I want to be healthy," but "I want to work out three times a week, eat vegetables every day, and not drink more than 3 beers in one sitting."

Step Two: Why do you want something? Not, "I want to be fit so this guy I like, likes me back," but "I want to be fit so I can feel confident wearing anything."

Step Three: What is blocking you from what you want? Not "laziness," but "I don't know where or how to work out, what veggies to buy, and I keep saying yes to meeting friends at a brewery."

Step Four: Give it time. Not "I still look overweight," but "I will be patient and enjoy trying new recipes and different yoga studios."

For years, I mistook happiness for a short-term feeling of achievement or fulfillment. The truth is, happiness isn't just one thing, one time, one feeling. It's a compilation of all the little bits of happiness and appreciation for doing what we want. By doing the things we want to do, we make little long-term investments in our future happiness.

As cliché as it sounds, it's about the journey, not the destination. If we don't enjoy the journey to happiness, well, it's probably not happiness we've reached. It's probably just an award, promotion, or weight goal we reached because we thought it would bring happiness.

Step Five: Attitude. If you have a negative, unappreciative attitude, it can hinder your happiness. I say this from experience. I was far from happy at one point in my life because I fixated on the bad and let it define my perspective on people and life in general. I had such a narrow scope that I missed all the good around me. That perspective defeated the happy-go-lucky, appreciative person I was deep down.

Don't let expectations control you, or one bad day or event define you. Life can be tough sometimes, but the people who keep doing what they want are often the happiest. Those who allow distractions, social structures, opinions, and expectations to drive their actions, well, they're less likely to be happy.

For all the happy people reading this, take a moment to appreciate that. Many people fight for happiness day after day. If you know someone who is, maybe share this with them or just try to be there for them more often. Life can be challenging, but it's reassuring to know we have others to count on when we can't count on ourselves.