Forgiveness isn't easy. In my experience, there are two types of forgiveness:

Forgiving yourself and forgiving others.

Both require you to toss your ego out the window and accept that you may never hear the apology or validation you so desperately desire. Everyone processes things differently, but here are a few lessons I've learned about forgiveness.

1. Accept people for who they are, not who you want them to be.

This step is crucial. It's better to embrace someone for who they are than to be disappointed when they don't meet your expectations for who you want them to be. If you're struggling to forgive someone, ask yourself if it's because they failed to meet an expectation you had.

Just because you have a child doesn't guarantee you'll have a motherly instinct. Just because you hold a leadership role doesn't mean you have the delegation skills for it. Just because someone calls you their best friend doesn't mean you can read their mind. Just because you make someone your partner doesn't mean they'll always make you happy. But these are all things people often expect because it's the norm.

My point is, that everyone has flaws. If you genuinely love someone, you'll accept them for their reckless behavior, impatience, potty mouth, temper, or whatever it may be. You need to breathe and find comfort in the fact that it's just them. You know what to expect from them, so why expect anything different?

2. Forgiveness takes time, so be patient.

Patience is key when it comes to forgiveness. Let's say you made a mistake; you can't expect the person you hurt to magically get over it. Likewise, it works the other way around. It might take some time apart, honest communication, and self-reflection.

3. If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you expect others to be honest with you?

Make sure that when you say you've forgiven someone, you genuinely mean it. Faking forgiveness only leads to more damage. If you're upset, express it. If that person doesn't respect your feelings, it's a clear sign they're not open to forgiveness in the first place.

4. It's not always about you.

We've all played the victim card at some point—feeling like life is unfair and wallowing in self-pity. The truth is, if someone hurt you, it might be because you didn't communicate your expectations honestly. And if you did, and they still hurt you, perhaps it's time to reevaluate those expectations.

You never truly know what someone else is going through. I once got upset with a coworker for not pulling their weight on an important project, only to discover they had a family member pass away three days earlier. Sometimes, it's just not about you.

Lastly, remember what's best for you, or rather, who is. If you love and accept someone for who they are, but they can't reciprocate, it's probably in your best interest to invest your time in someone who can.

Forgiveness is challenging, but without it, we'd all be angry, bitter, and vengeful. That's not the kind of world I want to live in. And always remember, people change, so don't confine them to a single character where their flaws define them.